i already hear my dad disowning me
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
