he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
