one two three fourrrrnication!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
