break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
