: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
