coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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