So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize