If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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