: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
