i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
