Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
