just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
