After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
accomplished twins. life is a go
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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