Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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