who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
