i just google imaged poop.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
