I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
