This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
