): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize