my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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