Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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