Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
