First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize