so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
