it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
