Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
