she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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