i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
