Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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