brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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