I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
