Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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