i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
