we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The Olympian is in my bed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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