I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
