: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
