I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
