you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
