Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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