I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
NoShamevember. You game?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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