Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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