Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So much Jack, so little girl.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
