I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
