why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You were trust falling into bushes
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
