i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
