I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
