I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
