we're blogging at a bar
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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