you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
