What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
