Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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