I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
