I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
