Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize