also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
