somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
