she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
