his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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