what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
