You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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