i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
